What DID We Do Before the Internet and Cell Phones?

I honestly don’t remember. I remember working at places and having “inter-office” type programs. I remember in 1989 thinking I worked for the hottest company EVER because we could send MESSAGES to one another (within the company) called – of all things – E-Mail. I remember hearing the tech-people say “The E in E-Mail stands for Electronic, as is Electronic Mail.” Wow.

Ok, backing up to the start of the day. The kids and I rush out the door – as usual - and I realize halfway down the street I’d left my cell phone. Again, I wish cell phones could yell and say things like “Hey! Don’t forget me – I’m on the kitchen table!”

I kept going - I figured I could survive. I’d get to work, use email & message my husband that I didn’t have my phone. I could also update my Facebook status from there (one of THE priorities of the morning of course). I figure for the sake of all of us barely being on time, I’ll take one for the team and go without MY RIGHT ARM for the day.

I walk into work and the bill file is all open and our phone company bill file is on top of the cabinet. I know those bills in there belong to the company I work for but honestly? I think it’s MY cabinet. I’m territorial like a small pit bull when it comes to my desk and its organization. So I’m about to say “What is this?!?!” with attitude when I look over and my boss is on the phone with his hands going through his hair.

You have to understand my boss. He is one fairly mellow dude. We are a perfect combination though can sometimes grate on one another’s nerves – but it’s rare. He is good at helping me see the need for a calm head in a situation. However, in those instances where less isn’t always more –say when your cleaning company just AINT gettin’ the job done – he says “GO GET ‘EM” and lets me loose.

So to see him all disheveled makes me stop and stand strong for what is undoubtedly very bad. It was. He says the unthinkable – the most unimaginable thing I could ever hear him say.

I hear the words – and here is whats going on in my head:

 

 



Those words were: “We are not connected.”
I repeat – we were/are not connected. This was NOT a drill.

So immediately I start to think of what part of my job can be done without the internet – filing? Ok, seriously I am NOT THAT bored- yet. So I start thinking of the other things this affects and what I need to do.

1. Call my husband.
Yes I actually CALLED HIM using the phone to tell him I didn’t have the phone today and we had no internet so he’d actually have to CALL THE OFFICE if he needed me. I’m surprised he didn’t ask for the number.

2. Call my mom.
Get her to to text my daughter at school and let her know that we are not connected. Although she knew I didn’t have my phone, HER LAST RESORT would be to call me – she’d email first. So she needed to know – and I had to rely on Mom to tell her.

So after I did those two things and my boss finally got off the phone with the phone company after doing numerous tests with a laptop, it was determined that our modem was shot. So he leaves and I’m sitting here wondering what to do. Not filing – that’s for sure!

Oh! I know – I can go to my games! Then I realize my stupid games require the internet. Thpt! So I go to the computer games. I go to Solitaire. I turn on the sound. Unfortunately, this is NOT Windows 7 or Vista. Those cards do NOT make the shuffle sound even. After two rounds of the most boring solitaire ever, I’m done.

I am seriously wondering – back when we were first introduced to company-only email in 1989, and didn’t really know what cell phones were – what in the heck were we doing? I’m talking about when the “internet super highway” was merely a back road waiting to happen once some trees were knocked down. Some of you who stumble across this probably don’t even remember a time like that.

This situation is a LOT like when your power goes out at home and yet nearly every time you go into another room you flip the switch anyway. There are a few friends I would call to pass the time, but guess where their numbers are? Not in my head like they used to be – they are in my contact list on the cell phone. A “phone” is actually a funny thing to call it since I never use it to make calls. It is for instant messaging, texting, emailing, Facebook, games, etc.

Well, my boss just walked in from Wal-Mart. Apparently the modem we use is carried ONLY at Wal-Mart and the phone company. So he is now in the process of trying to get us back online. For those of you who are old enough to get this: I feel like little Gilligan and Skipper just walked in & said “Hey, little Buddy! I just found a way to build us a ship and get us off the island!”

So wish us luck. If the new modem works, you’ll know because you’ll be reading. You’ll also see a picture of a choir singing “Hallelujah!” below. Wish us luck!!

-Kat